"Platonic" Relationships

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about the concept of maintaining a platonic relationship with a guy. You know, those friendships where you see the guy and girl meeting for coffee once a week, "spilling the beans" on matters of their heart, and yet they claim they have no romantic interest in one another. And this raised a question in my mind: is it possible to have a strong, one-on-one relationship with a young man and still have no emotional or physical attraction to him?

The term platonic relationship comes from Plato, the Greek philosopher. Plato believed that we humans are preexisting souls encapsulated in physical bodies upon birth. So our bodies are not a part of our essence in the way that our souls are. In other words, the soul of John can be best friends with the soul of Lindsay, but their bodies can be completely absent from the friendship. So John and Lindsay will be "just friends." Neither will develop a romantic or sexual interest in the other.

Does that happen in real life? From our own experiences and from the romantic dramas and comedies that play on this theme, we know things typically go the other way. Why? Because our souls are not compartmentalized from our bodies; we are emotional-physical-spiritual beings. Emotional intimacy is a prelude to physical intimacy, and in marriage these go hand in hand, each promoting the other.

So can a girl be friends with a guy? Sure. Just don't pretend you're compartmentalized. If you aren't interested in pursuing the possibility of marriage with him, keep the emotional intimacy at bay. Emotional intimacy between a man and woman is something that, I believe, is to be reserved for a firm relationship and engagement that is intentionally headed towards marriage and, ultimately, marriage itself. Until a man has shared with the woman his desire to marry her in the near future, the woman should feel no obligation and, honestly, has no business sharing her most intimate feelings with him. Likewise, the man should not feed off of a woman's emotional vulnerability in order to feed his "knight in shining armor" drive. Hearts are no small thing to be tampered with.

A good way to avoid getting too emotionally attached with a guy is, in my view, to cut down or completely cut out one-on-one time with him. While you may not see it as a "date," he might, even if he tells you otherwise. Either he needs to "man up", declare his intentions and set a marriage-oriented direction for the relationship, or he needs to free your time and ultimately your heart for another man.

7 Ways to Charm Your Man

Yesterday my mom and I were over at my grandparents' house, mainly just to check in and see how they're doing since they both are up in years. I love going to their house. It's so full of history. My favorite thing to do is to go through their old belongings (the ones they let people go through, that is . . .); a ration packet from the Great Depression; my grandfather's army badges from World War 2; and then there's the old clothes of the timeless vintage style. Anyways, this particular time, I was browsing through my grandmother's old magazines she had kept throughout the years. I came across an issue of Coronet Magazine, circa 1950. I found this little article entitled "7 Ways to Charm Your Man" and thought it was way too cute to pass up.

1. Your voice must be gentle and warm, then he’ll want to listen to your expressive tones. And you’ll know the value of a soft whisper, but – most important – you’ll know when not to talk.

2. Your laugh . . . that special little chuckle which is all your own . . . the toss of your head as you laugh at his jokes . . . across a crowded room, your secret smile which takes him into your heart.

3. Your hair . . . blowing freely in the wind, tempting him to run his fingers through . . . even the little bit that stands straight up and defies attempts to tidy it – it’s endearing and he’ll love it.

4. Your nose . . . because it’s shiny, although you bemoan the fact and try hard to make the powder stay on . . . the amusing, lovable way you wrinkle it up when something pleases you.

5. Your attention . . . because you are a good listener and take an interest in what he has to say, which makes him feel important; also the encouragement you give him when he feels unsure.

6. Your dress . . . it’s just right for all occasions and you never embarrass him by wearing outrageous styles, colors and trimmings that are fussy and conspicuous . . . and besides, you walk firmly, with upright, graceful carriage, in ridiculously feminine, high-heeled shoes.

7. Your eyes . . . because they are so expressive, sparkling with fun or flashing with anger . . . because they send him charming messages which only he can read, and because they are the windows into which he can look and always be sure of finding the real You.

A Call to Anguish - David Wilkerson

Once again, the ministry of Eric and Leslie Ludy has struck to the heart of what true Christianity is all about. This past weekend, they paid tribute to the recently-killed David Wilkerson, founder of Teen Challenge, hero of the faith, and champion for Christ. The following is a short film featuring part of a sermon Mr. Wilkerson preached entitle "A Call to Anguish." And, again, my eyes were not dry by the end of it.



To read David Wilkerson's last blog entry, go here.

Blow Me Away

This morning I was doing my usual routine of blog surfing and I stumbled upon a highly compelling video on Eric and Leslie Ludy's ministry site. Throughout the whole video, I cried tears of sorrow, repentence, joy, and ultimately, gratitude for all the Savior has done for me.



"Is not the Lamb that was slain worthy to receive the reward of His suffering?

To Be Lost in the Love of My Lord

To be honest, I've always been quite indifferent towards Valentine's Day. I still am. I loath the color red. Seeing little teddy bears holding out heart-shaped pillows with "Be Mine" embroidered across the front is anything but cute. I like the idea of being my own little self everyday, not just on "Single Awareness Day." And, I admit, it's not too hard for me to enjoy being single since I'm not that much of a hopeless romantic anyways.

Yet I realize that all girls aren't like me. Some girls find themselves depressed on the day's leading up to and after Valentine's Day. They feel that twinge of loneliness and wonder when Mr. Darcy will turn up. And, yes, even steel-hardy me feels the "man-ache" every now and then. But it's during the times of impatience and discontent that I find myself evaluating my desires. Why do I feel the need for human love? Why is my heart discontent with all the love my Father has lavished on me already?

Now, please don't misread me. This is not to say one shouldn't desire the love from a fellow human. God created us with an inherent desire to be found loved in the eyes of others. Humans need humans. But when our desire for love outweighs our desperate need to be fulfilled in Christ alone, we are setting ourselves up for a severe disappointment. For every longing our heart craves for, Christ has already made the grade for it.

I want to be loved - ". . . I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you." - Jeremiah 31:3

I want someone to hold my hand - ". . . I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

I want to be accepted and valued - ". . . He made us accepted in the Beloved." - Ephesians 1:6

I want someone who will champion my causes, one who is willing to fight for me - "The Lord will fight for you . . . " - Exodus 14:14

I want someone to help me - "There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides the heavens to help you . . ." - Deuteronomy 33:26

I don't want to have to bear the load of life on my own - "Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry and will deliver you." - Isaiah 46:4

There are many, many more desires my heart longs for in regards to love. But what use is it to worry about my future? Who am I to desire anything else than what God has willed for my life right now? It is utter foolishness to believe that any human could instantaneously fulfill my heart. Every-day interactions with people prove this fact.

If I do not look to Christ to fulfill my heart, there is no way I could possibly bring even a small amount of fulfillment to a man. An unfullfilled human brings less than fulfillment to another human. Oh, how my heart longs for its desires to be reconciled with the love of Christ! May my heart always find refuge in Christ, my God. May I look to His Word as a comfort in times of loneliness, His grace in times of weakness, and His enduring faithfulness and love to calm my restless soul.

Why I Love Being Feminine

Photo Courtesy of A Lady's Findings

It's wonderful being a girl. So many times it's the little, seemingly-insignificant things that delight the feminine class. Perhaps this post may seem a bit rambled, but here are some of my favorite and enjoyable side effects to being feminine.

- The graceful movement of tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear while I type on my laptop in a cafe'.

- The mystery of having a smile teasing my lips as I shop for romaine lettuce and bell peppers.

- The dignified feeling that comes when I stand with my shoulders back and head slightly tilted upwards.

- Enjoying a spontaneous skip or hop every once in a while - no matter who sees.

- The soft scent of powder makeup.

- Wearing ribbon in my hair that was salvaged from the wrapping of the gift from my valentine.

- The swish of my skirt as I sit down in the car.

- The prim sound of heels clipping against the pavement.

- Knowing that a flower can immediately transform any hair catastrophe.

- The light reflected from sparkly jewelry.

- Walking through the fabric store and picking out my wedding colors.

- The ability to "brain laugh" when a boy gawks at my brightly colored rain boots.

- Ruffled necklines.

- The domestic feeling that surges through me when I put on an apron.

- Adding curlicues and swirlygigs to my writing.

- Silently reveling in the "please-clarify" look of the young man who takes my complicated order at Starbucks.

- The distinguished air that only women can hold.

I know there are more perks to being feminine out there - what are yours?

The Great Proposal

One of my favorite things ever is to hear an engagement story. The mystery, the anticipation, the rumors about the purchase of a ring, and finally the big announcement all culminate to produce a wonderful story of love and joy. I've already "planned" how my proposal will happen, provided that it is in the Lord's will. Yes, I know it will never happen how I've predetermined, but it's always fun to dream.

A few months ago, I was sick with a cold and couldn't go to church with my family. While I was in my room praying and overall talking about my day with the Lord, I started daydreaming about my proposal. Would it be in the living room with my family present or just the two of us on the sofa? Would it be at a restaurant or down by the creek behind our house? Would I expect it or would it be a surprise? All these thoughts crowded into my mind and I began to tell the Lord about them. A few minutes passed by while I kept on dreaming until I felt an impression to look up a verse in the book of Revelation.

"And the Spirit and the bride say,

'Come!'

And let him who hears say,

'Come!'

And let him who thirsts come.

Whoever desires, let him take

the water of life freely."

~ Revelation 22:17 ~

I realized that while I was dreaming about how my "real" proposal would go, here the Lord was inviting me to come to Him. All that I need is found in Christ alone. While I may long for love, Christ fulfilled that need when He paid for my sin on the cross. He lavishes His grace on me everyday through the blessings He gives. Jesus extends His hand of invitation to every one of us. It's up to us to accept His free gift of love and grace.

". . . 'I am the bread of life.

He who comes to Me shall never hunger,

and he who believes in Me

shall never thirst.'"

~ John 6:35 ~

I will never be disappointed if I find my fulfillment in Christ alone. Yes, my soul will be distracted by the things of the world. But my prayer everyday is that my soul would awaken to the grand proposal the Lord holds out to me - walking with the Creator of the universe every single day. I do look forward to the day that I will marry. But during this season of singleness, I desire for my soul to be set in finding its satisfaction in Christ alone. While it is wonderful to be loved by a human being, how much more wonderful be called a lover of God!

I Am Resolved

As the new year approaches, people generally make goals for the next year. Exercise and diet, interesting places to travel to, hobbies to experiment with, new foods to taste, and countless other "to-do's" make the list. I personally have never found making resolutions too helpful. I'll fall into one of three categories.

1. For one, I never write them down. Hence, I forget them by January 2nd.
2. I'll make resolutions I could never possibly do. ("Become an acrobat.")
3. I'll make resolutions that I absolutely have no desire to achieve. ("Learn Swahili.")

However, at every year's end, I always read over and am fascinated by the resolutions of Jonathan Edwards. His desire to please the Lord through his life is made evidenced by these life goals. As I was reading through them on Saturday, number 53 jumped out at me.

"Resolved, to improve every opportunity,

when I am in the best and happiest frame of mind,

to cast and venture my soul on the Lord Jesus Christ,

to trust and confide in him,

and consecrate myself wholly to him;

that from this I may have assurance of my safety,

knowing that I confide in my Redeemer."

~ Jonathan Edwards ~

How I desire that trait to be my resolution, not just for the year, but for my whole life. God alone is my only Sustenance. Jesus, my only hope of salvation. He gives me grace for every trial and delivers me from every temptation. He holds the universe in His hands, and yet He cares about every detail of my life, from my wishes and desires to the intimate cares of my heart. Christ deserves all I am. May my life be hidden in Christ my Savior, and may its trust be not in the things of the world, but in the knowledge that He is all I need.

The Art of Hospitality



Photo courtesy of Luxury Home Interiors

December always brings plenty of social events. Family get-togethers, girls' night out, employee's Christmas party, even the Christmas ball - there are more than enough opportunities to be with others around this holiday season. But too often we get focused on where we are going to and neglect an opportunity that is often afforded to us, but in most cases is rarely taken advantage of - the art of true hospitality.

"Be hospitable to one another without grumbling."

~ 1 Peter 2:9 ~

Just like etiquette, hospitality is a fading ideal in our modern society. Quite frankly, we usually think of being hospitable whenever it benefits us. Many of our ideas about fellowship and "hanging out" have turned into a shopping spree to the mall, pizza and a movie, or going to get a manicure done. Don't get me wrong; pizza is really good and movies are fun (those are the only two I can legitimately speak of since my shopping record is quite dismal and I have yet to get a manicure or pedicure done). But true Biblical hospitality is so much more than having a few friends over and watching the latest flick. Rather, it is a demonstration of honor, love, and selflessness. Through hospitality, we can build up fellow Christians in the faith. It's an opportunity to open our home to those in need of shelter, food, and love. It's a practical way of laying aside your own desires and pouring into the lives of those who are lonely, discouraged, sick, or struggling.

". . . 'When you give a dinner or a supper,

do not ask your friends, your brothers, your relatives, nor rich neighbors,

lest they also invited you back,

and you be repaid.

But when you give a feast,

invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind.

And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you;

for you shall be repaid at the

resurrection of the just."

~ Luke 14:12-14 ~

The Lord's call to hospitality seems quite backwards in our modern way of thinking. Instead of using hospitality as a way to boost our social status, our home ought to be a haven for the outcasts of society. Understand there is strong Scriptural endorsement of having relatives and close friends over for a meal. But we shouldn't stop there. Christ calls us to invite the lost, lonely, and poor into our homes and treat them as royalty. Hospitality, much like other social graces, is a mark of Christ-centered femininity. When a woman's focus is not on herself, but on serving, honoring, and blessing those in need, hospitality is a natural by-product.

So, what are some ways we can build an atmosphere that is conducive towards Biblical hospitality?

For one, start with yourself. No one likes to go to a home where the hostess is bustling around the house and never sits down to sincerely enjoy the fellowship. A woman who displays a demeanor of restlessness and disquiet will most likely diffuse that to her guests. Creating a hospitable atmosphere starts in our hearts. You house the very essence of true hospitality - being a place of refreshment and peace to your guests. When you exude an attitude of peace and contentment, many times that allows your guests to relax and enjoy the time they will have with you. Offering a listening ear, praying with friends, or even just the simple gesture of spending time with someone are ways in which you can be a refreshment to others.

The other is your external environment. If you've ever seen a Thomas Kinkade painting of a cottage or home, you've probably noticed the "window glow" that he almost always uses. It's a glow that comes from a home full of laughter and warmth. He puts it this way.

"Here in America, we've installed television sets everywhere

so that people never have to converse.

Have you ever walked at night by a window

where the television was on?

The light is dim and cold.

But walk at night by a window where a fire is flickering,

where a candle is lit,

and see the difference.

The warm glow in the windows is so inviting

that it draws you in.

It's not high-tech entertainment that puts warmth in the windows,

but human connection.

It's human warmth that makes up the golden glow."

~ Thomas Kinkade ~

Does your home have the "window glow?" Candles, home-made meals, soft music, fresh-baked cookies, and flower arrangements are just a few things that can add the cozy and welcoming light to your home. But apart from the exterior, we must also consider the attitudes and activities that take place while hosting guests. Is your conversation meaningful? Is your ear open to their heart? Can you cultivate a fun and family environment without having to use technology? Do people come away from your house feeling as if they have encountered Christ?

As you make a welcoming environment, it's always helpful to have a notebook handy to jot down any last-minute ideas. Creating a fun and warm atmosphere for your guests is one of the most enjoyable parts of Christ-centered hospitality. Not only are we rewarded by seeing our guests walk away fulfilled, but we know we have honored the Lord by becoming His hands and feet to those who are in need of refreshment.

Oh, Give Thanks to the Lord!

School is out. The trees have shed their last golden tear. Canned goods have overtaken the pantry. Every morning the ground is dusted with a thin layer of frost, or perhaps where you live the first snow has come. Visiting arrangements are made, mouth-watering aromas waft through the kitchen, and if your house is anything like ours around Thanksgiving, already the strains of Nat King Cole and Bing Crosby can be heard throughout the house.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, perhaps even more than Christmas. Not only is there a boatload of food, but as we gather with family and friends, it is a time to thank the Lord for all the abundant blessings that He, only by His grace, has showered on our lives. As I will be quite busy during this week, I am going to be taking a break from blogging. By next Monday, I hope to resume a regular blogging schedule. I pray you all have a joy-filled Thanksgiving!

"Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands!

Serve the Lord will gladness;

Come before His presence with singing.

Know that the Lord, He is God;

It is He who has made us,

and not we ourselves;

We are His people and the

sheep of His pasture.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,

and into His courts with praise.

Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.

For the Lord is good;

His mercy is everlasting,

and His truth endures to all generations."

~ Psalm 100 ~