To Be Lost in the Love of My Lord

To be honest, I've always been quite indifferent towards Valentine's Day. I still am. I loath the color red. Seeing little teddy bears holding out heart-shaped pillows with "Be Mine" embroidered across the front is anything but cute. I like the idea of being my own little self everyday, not just on "Single Awareness Day." And, I admit, it's not too hard for me to enjoy being single since I'm not that much of a hopeless romantic anyways.

Yet I realize that all girls aren't like me. Some girls find themselves depressed on the day's leading up to and after Valentine's Day. They feel that twinge of loneliness and wonder when Mr. Darcy will turn up. And, yes, even steel-hardy me feels the "man-ache" every now and then. But it's during the times of impatience and discontent that I find myself evaluating my desires. Why do I feel the need for human love? Why is my heart discontent with all the love my Father has lavished on me already?

Now, please don't misread me. This is not to say one shouldn't desire the love from a fellow human. God created us with an inherent desire to be found loved in the eyes of others. Humans need humans. But when our desire for love outweighs our desperate need to be fulfilled in Christ alone, we are setting ourselves up for a severe disappointment. For every longing our heart craves for, Christ has already made the grade for it.

I want to be loved - ". . . I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you." - Jeremiah 31:3

I want someone to hold my hand - ". . . I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

I want to be accepted and valued - ". . . He made us accepted in the Beloved." - Ephesians 1:6

I want someone who will champion my causes, one who is willing to fight for me - "The Lord will fight for you . . . " - Exodus 14:14

I want someone to help me - "There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides the heavens to help you . . ." - Deuteronomy 33:26

I don't want to have to bear the load of life on my own - "Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry and will deliver you." - Isaiah 46:4

There are many, many more desires my heart longs for in regards to love. But what use is it to worry about my future? Who am I to desire anything else than what God has willed for my life right now? It is utter foolishness to believe that any human could instantaneously fulfill my heart. Every-day interactions with people prove this fact.

If I do not look to Christ to fulfill my heart, there is no way I could possibly bring even a small amount of fulfillment to a man. An unfullfilled human brings less than fulfillment to another human. Oh, how my heart longs for its desires to be reconciled with the love of Christ! May my heart always find refuge in Christ, my God. May I look to His Word as a comfort in times of loneliness, His grace in times of weakness, and His enduring faithfulness and love to calm my restless soul.