(Disclaimer: This post is what I call a get-it-out-of-your-system post. Hence, it's bound to be quite rambled and has the potential of not making any sense. Just bear with me.)
Being a high-school senior, I have inevitably fallen into what I believe is perhaps the most pressure-filled, questions-asked, self-security smooshed, at times barely-breathing stage of life. Whoever said being a senior was the best year of your school-age experience probably didn't have a life.
The confusion has beaten me down to absolutely nothing. And it's exactly what I need.
I love organization. I love schedules. I love knowing what I'm doing next. When I was younger (by "younger" I mean only seven months ago . . . what a joke) I had my life organized in two-five year increments. I was going to graduate, work for a year to gain finances for college, and finish my degree within two years. Oh, and Mr. Perfect was more than welcome to walk into the picture whenever he wanted to.
Now my life has turned into something which, seven months ago, I would have called a "nightmare." The Lord has used the pressure and confusion to show me that He is my Source, not myself. Yes, it's great to be organized and have some idea of what you're doing. But through all my organization and "life planning" I came to realize that it was a form of self-security for me. I knew what I was doing. I knew what was going to happen within the next six months. I knew what job I would pursure. It was all about I, me, my, and myself.
Now I'm in a learning process. I'm learning how to depend on Christ for my every-day sustinence. He will lead me in the path I should take. It will happen in His timing. The carpet has been yanked out from underneath me; I have absolutely no idea what I'll end up doing or where I'm going, but He does. And I'm okay with that.
2 comments:
Rebeka Dear...
I don't really know what to say, except... God is really smart. And in spite of my being sympathetic (seeing as I am going through/have gone through a similar, though different, experience), I can't help but be glad that God is teaching you this. :) It is such a worthwhile lesson... Learn it well!
I'm praying for you! Love you!
Well I am a total stranger to you but I will share my story and maybe it'll bring you comfort. Well during my senior year, I knew I was going to go to beauty school and like you said, when God "plops" Mr. Right into my life, I will welcome him with open arms. Well God had different plans, I came to realize that being a godly wife and mother was what I was called to do. Well God decided to test me and brought a young man [5 yrs my senior] into my life in March of my senior year. Well my Dad said "no courtship until your school is finished" well graduation night, my Dad gave his blessing for courtship and a month later, my family became aware of many faults in the relationship [too much emotions involved] and despite the fact that myself and the young man were looking forward to being betrothed when I turned 18 [which was only months away] my father called the courtship off. Well that following week, God brought about 5 families into my life who either counseled me by sharing their story [similiar to mine] or as service/work opportunities. So since then, I have been learning a slew of "how to be a wife and mother" –“tricks of the trade” kind of things. I love it and am so content. I was upset when it all happened but now realize that God has a wonderful plan for me and nothing I can think of will be a sub for His plan. So, no matter what you are going through. God has an AWESOME plan for JUST you. All I can encourage you to do is to pray and study these women of the Bible [I learned a ton of what God seeks for in women and His children through them] :Rebekah, Ruth, Ester, Miriam, and Mary. God bless and know that no matter what, you are in the palm of His hand and nothing can touch you.
You are clay in the hands of the Almighty potter :).
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