So, this is new, not blogging for three whole weeks. It's the college (and work) life. Totally rocks.
And just when I started to get some blog drafts started, a big thing happens. On Sunday night my dad had a heart attack. Thank Jesus, we did catch it right away, and Mom took him to the ER soon afterwards. As of now (Tuesday evening), he got out of surgery a few hours ago; he had a few stints put in, which will help keep the blockage in his coronary arteries at bay. Unfortunately, it doesn't take care of the root problem (the blockage needs to be completely removed), but it does provide a short-term (2-3 year) break before the need for a more invasive procedure would need to happen.
This whole process has been covered with the peace of God; nobody has been freaking out, no complications with doctor's procedures, everything pretty smooth. My brother flew in from Canada to help out, which has been a great blessing. I have pretty much been holding down the fort while everyone goes to the hospital to see Dad. I hate hospitals and, unless something major is happening, I make every effort not to purposely put myself in a situation I hate. But being home has let me do a few things; yesterday I cleaned the house, top to bottom, and today I "winterized" the garden.
Nevertheless, prayers would be appreciated, obviously. Just for peace as we start to figure out what these next few weeks will look like. That Dad would recover quickly and smoothly. That he wouldn't rush his recovery. (He's an A-type personality, so he basically has a one-track mind. Right now, it's "get better and get back to work.") I can't really think of anything more specific other than that, but I mean, nobody ever got too much prayer or prayed too much.
This experience has also tangibly brought the realization to me that, we really don't know when our time will come. Sure, we can make tentative plans for what we might want to do when we grow up, what to study in college, what boy we want to marry, how many kids we want, and whatever other major life decisions happen to present themselves. But that's the thing - these are just tentative.
Ultimately, my life is in His hands. I'm down-right assured of that. I do actively try to position my life according to where I feel God is leading me. For this reason, I am in college, attempting to acquire the knowledge needed to get a job in the field of humanitarian-government relations. At the same time, I can't bank my life on the mere fact that I'm still living. I can only live day-to-day, step-by-step.
I know I'm basically rambling now, and I promise I'll stop after I say this. But, really, loving people is all that it's cracked up to be. That's what people ultimately remember you for. I'm not a sentimental person in any way, shape, or form. But having death come so close to my family, I don't really care anymore. I want to love with abandon. I don't want to hoard my life to myself anymore. Whether it's my giving my mom a gift for no reason, forgiving a friend for something that is really quite petty in the end, or just going to my sister's birthday party even though I'd rather go to jail than pretend I love parties because I have a serious hate-hate relationship with parties. I want to feast and abide in God's love daily so that I can be a conduit of love to others to the fullest.
I want to love hard.
And just when I started to get some blog drafts started, a big thing happens. On Sunday night my dad had a heart attack. Thank Jesus, we did catch it right away, and Mom took him to the ER soon afterwards. As of now (Tuesday evening), he got out of surgery a few hours ago; he had a few stints put in, which will help keep the blockage in his coronary arteries at bay. Unfortunately, it doesn't take care of the root problem (the blockage needs to be completely removed), but it does provide a short-term (2-3 year) break before the need for a more invasive procedure would need to happen.
This whole process has been covered with the peace of God; nobody has been freaking out, no complications with doctor's procedures, everything pretty smooth. My brother flew in from Canada to help out, which has been a great blessing. I have pretty much been holding down the fort while everyone goes to the hospital to see Dad. I hate hospitals and, unless something major is happening, I make every effort not to purposely put myself in a situation I hate. But being home has let me do a few things; yesterday I cleaned the house, top to bottom, and today I "winterized" the garden.
Nevertheless, prayers would be appreciated, obviously. Just for peace as we start to figure out what these next few weeks will look like. That Dad would recover quickly and smoothly. That he wouldn't rush his recovery. (He's an A-type personality, so he basically has a one-track mind. Right now, it's "get better and get back to work.") I can't really think of anything more specific other than that, but I mean, nobody ever got too much prayer or prayed too much.
This experience has also tangibly brought the realization to me that, we really don't know when our time will come. Sure, we can make tentative plans for what we might want to do when we grow up, what to study in college, what boy we want to marry, how many kids we want, and whatever other major life decisions happen to present themselves. But that's the thing - these are just tentative.
Ultimately, my life is in His hands. I'm down-right assured of that. I do actively try to position my life according to where I feel God is leading me. For this reason, I am in college, attempting to acquire the knowledge needed to get a job in the field of humanitarian-government relations. At the same time, I can't bank my life on the mere fact that I'm still living. I can only live day-to-day, step-by-step.
I know I'm basically rambling now, and I promise I'll stop after I say this. But, really, loving people is all that it's cracked up to be. That's what people ultimately remember you for. I'm not a sentimental person in any way, shape, or form. But having death come so close to my family, I don't really care anymore. I want to love with abandon. I don't want to hoard my life to myself anymore. Whether it's my giving my mom a gift for no reason, forgiving a friend for something that is really quite petty in the end, or just going to my sister's birthday party even though I'd rather go to jail than pretend I love parties because I have a serious hate-hate relationship with parties. I want to feast and abide in God's love daily so that I can be a conduit of love to others to the fullest.
I want to love hard.
1 comment:
I'm praying for your dad, Rebeka!
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